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A Tween Girl's Body Image is a Direct Reflection of her Parents' - Are You Sending the Right Message? Five Tips to Improve Her Body Image
Your daughter's body image is important to you because her body image is an indicator of her future success. But did you know that the way you manage your own body image will affect hers? In fact, a recent survey by Discovery Girls magazine reflected that 37 percent of tween girls say they get their ideas about the "right" body size from their parents. Here are five tips to help you send the right verbal message to your daughter about your body and hers.
Tip 1: Be Positive When You Talk About Yourself
How do you talk about yourself? If your daughter hears you talk negatively about the way you look, she'll assume it's okay to talk negatively about herself, too.
Dr. Phil McGraw, a television personality, author, and former psychologist―known as Dr. Phil―explains, "If she watches you looking in the mirror saying, ‘I look terrible. I look fat. I hate the way I look in this,' and she watches how you cower from life and don't carry yourself with dignity and pride and your head up, then she is going to learn and mimic those very things." (Courtesy of www.drphil.com)
Tip 2: Avoid Talking About Your Own Weight
Talking about your wish to lose or gain weight sends a message hat you're preoccupied with your looks. Instead, talk about healthy living. You can also model this by engaging in more physical activity and committing to healthy eating instead of going on a fad diet. Adopting a healthy lifestyle within the family is a sure-fire way to improve a tween girl's body-image.
Tip 3: Don't Compare Yourself to Others
If you try to validate your looks by comparing yourself to other women, your daughter will get the message that she should be comparing herself to others, too—and she's probably already doing enough of that without your encouragement. Instead of making comparisons, give other women sincere compliments. This will tell your daughter that you're confident enough about your own looks not to be threatened by the attractiveness of others.
Tip 4: Watch Those Teasing Words
When parents feel uncomfortable or unsure around their tween daughters, they may resort to humor or teasing to ease the tension. But even if your intentions are good, parental teasing can be scarring to sensitive tween girls. Never tease your daughter about her body or the changes she's going through. You simply can't know when something you say may hit a nerve and affect her for a long time. Instead, boost her body image by complimenting her so that she can learn to recognize her own beauty, both inside and out.
Tip 5: Loose Lips Sink Ships
Resist the urge to share stories about your daughter's body changes with your friends—especially if there's a chance she might hear you. Nothing will sink her body image faster than hearing her mom reveal her secrets and (in her eyes) having a little laugh at her expense. Sure, the story about buying her first bra might be cute and sweet to you, but in her eyes, it's embarrassing—and you'll be betraying her trust by telling it.
Modifying these five simple features of the way you speak can help improve your daughter's body image. For more on this topic, read How Your Body Image Affects Your Daughter's Self-Esteem.
About the Author
Looking for additional resources on Self Esteem in ‘Tween' Girls? Download this free report, Raising Resilient & Confident Daughters, from the authors of Discovery Girls Magazine and DiscoverYourDaughter.com.
Discovery Girls, Inc. is a media company whose goal is to help tween girls become strong, confident, resilient young women.
Founded in 2000, their products include Discovery Girls, the award-winning magazine by girls, for girls ages 8 to 12; DiscoveryGirls.com; The Fab Girls Guides books; and DiscoverYourDaughter.com, a site for parents of tween girls.
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